I Thought You'd Never Ask

friend: Last night was insanity.

me: Uh YEAH. We were way too drunk.

friend: We were three drunk.

me: I was crying.

friend: I was crying.

me: We were both crying.

friend: Over nothing.

me: Absolutely nothing.

friend: Last night was so dumb.

me: Very dumb.

friend: I am definitely taking it easy tonight.

me: Me too. No drinking whatsoever.

friend: Definitely not.

me: Nope.

friend: Not even tempted.

me: Me neither.

friend: Earlier I was thinking of drinking tonight, but I just can't.

me: I was thinking that, too. I was thinking that drinking may make me feel better. But definitely not.

friend: Definitely not drinking.

me: Nope.

friend: Unless you really wanted to.

me: Well a beer would be nice.

friend: It would be nice.

me: Very nice.

friend: Wanna get some beer?

me: Definitely.

friend: I'm turning around right now.

me: THANK GOD.

friend: WE NEED BEER.

me: I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.

friend: But just one.

me: Yeah, one or two.

friend: Yeah, just like a few.

me: Definitely just a few.

An hour later...

friend: We've definitely had more than a few beers.

me: Yeah, but I feel great!

friend: So do I!

me: I feel SO much better.

friend: A LOT better.

me: This is what we needed.

A few hours later...

me: This beer is taking a toll on my figure.

friend: Yeah, me too. I'm definitely not the same size I was a few months ago.

me: Me neither. I need to slow down on the drinking and get back to normal.

friend: Me too. And stop eating fast food.

me: Exactly! I only eat shitty food when I'm drunk!

friend: Me too!

me: I'm going to stop, though.

friend: Yeah, drink less and not eat so poorly.

me: Definitely.

friend: For sure.

me: I'm pretty drunk right now.

friend: So am I.

me: I kinda wanna go to Taco Bell.

friend: I really want to go to Taco Bell.

me: Are we going to Taco Bell?

friend: We're definitely going to Taco Bell.

me: Like...

friend: Like right now.

me: THANK GOD.

friend: WE NEED TACO BELL.

me: I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.