And You Thought A Cat Couldn't Possibly Get More Naked

Today's Conversation with My Cat

me: WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

cat: Meow.

me: No, I mean literally. This shit by the front door. Why is it there.

cat: Meow.

me: I cleaned your litter box this morning! AND I filled it with brand new, more expensive litter. Is this how you repay  me?

cat: Meow, meow.

me: I just slid into my apartment by slipping on shit. Do you realize how embarrassing that is?

cat: Meow.

me: And what is this? PISS? On the windowsill? Have you lost your mind?

cat: Meow meow meow meow meow meow ---

me: Stop it, that's annoying.

cat: Meow meow meow meow meow meow ---

me: What the hell are you doing? Why are you running around everywhere?

cat: MEOW MEOW!

me: Ouch! Don't ever leap over my head like that again!

cat: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ---

me: Oh my god what is that.

cat: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ---

me: Holy shit that's your penis.

cat: MEOW MEOW MEOW ---

me: Put your penis away, Leeloo!

cat: MEOW MEOW MEOW ---

me: For the love of god put that pink, pointy thing away!

cat: MEOW MEOW ---

me: Quit flashing me! You're already naked enough as it is! How can you get any naked-er?

cat: MEOW MEOW MEOW ---

me: Stop licking my earlobes. This is getting weird.

cat: Purrrrrrrrrrr...

me: GET YOUR TONGUE AND YOUR PENIS AWAY FROM ME AND PUT THEM WHERE THEY BELONG.

cat: Purrrrrrrrrrrr...

me: NO! Your tongue does not belong on your penis! 

cat: Purrrrrrrrr...

me: I give up.