Crack is Whack

When I pictured what high school would be like, I saw a magical place with dozens of oppurtunities, hundreds of possibilities, and boys. Now all I could see was the girl in front of me...and her butt crack. I'd expect such a shannanigan in middle school, but in high school? Things should be different now! I shouldn't have to deal with brief nudity in English class! Does anyone else see this? The girl next to me sure doesn't...or that guy...oh! That guy licking his lips is looking. Ewww! That guy looking is licking his lips! Does this girl really not feel the breeze? I have to do something about this...it would be wrong of me not to...I can't be dealing with such distractions...

"What are you doing?"

"Hmmm? What? Oh, were you talking to me?"

"Ummm YEAH. Is this your pencil?"

"Why look at that! Good golly, it sure is!"

"What was it doing in my pants?"

"I...what?"

"What was your pencil doing in the back of my pants?"

"Well if it was doing anything, I'd imagine it'd be writing...erasing...poking...whatever it is pencils are doing these days..."

"How did it get there?"

"Well...actually...you know, now that I look more closely, well by George! This isn't my pencil after all! Silly me...pencils are starting to look so similar...sure does look like it could be mine, doesn't it? But nope, no siree, this is definitley not my pencil! My mistake..."

"Whatever."

You would think that if you turned around and found a pencil in the back of your pants, you wouldn't think, "Oh, I wonder who put that there..." and accuse the first person you see. You would more likely think, "Oh, my entire butt is showing. That's not in style anymore..." and pull up your freaking pants. But NOOO...all SHE cares about is who was looking at her butt and decided to stick a writing utensil there, which really shouldn't matter...and she STILL hasn't pulled up her pants. Maybe if I had a ruler...