Go-Go Gadget...TESTICLE!

"Did you know that Greg Sanders has a metal ball?"

"What? NO!"

"YES."

"But how do you know?"

"Everyone was talking about it in third period."

"What did they say?"

"Apparently he had to get surgery for it in fourth grade but they couldn't save it, so they replaced it with a metal one."

"Is it hollow?"

"I don't know!"

"Because if it's just metal...it must get pretty heavy."

"Yeah, unless it's in some kind of, like, hammock thingy."

"I can't believe Greg Sanders has a metal ball..."

"Yeah, but DON'T TELL."

Benjamin Franklin once said, "Three can keep a secret...if two of them are dead." Natasha Ferrier once said, "Three can keep a secret...unless one of them has a metal ball."

"Did you know that Greg Sanders has a robotic testicle?"

"Yeah, and he keeps it in a special testicle hammock."

"I KNOW! Wait. Shhhh...Greg's coming."

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothin' much...I, Robot."

"Yeah...Inspector Gadget."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing, nothing...metalballboy."

"Okay, WHO told you?"

"Told us what?"

"It's NOT TRUE!"

"What's not true?"

"I DON'T HAVE A METAL BALL!"

"There's nothing wrong with it...Bicentennial Man."

"I DON'T!"

"Yeah sure...Judy!"

"Judy?"

"You know...the robot from The Jetsons? ...ugh nevermind."

"I don't know WHO started this rumor, but when I find out, I'm gonna---"

"Punch them in the face using your brass ball?"

"MY BALLS ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL! I SWEAR!"

"Okay okay...we're sorry..."

"Go-go gadget...TESTICLE!"

Lindsay Lohan once sang, "I'm tired of rumors starting." Hilary Duff once sang."Why not?"

"Did you know that Greg Sanders has a third nipple?"

"WHAT?! I thought he had a metal ball!"

"Greg Sanders has a metal ball?"

"Greg Sanders has a third nipple?"

"Ewww."

"Ewww."

"But how do you know?"

"Everyone was talking about it fifth period."

"What did they say?"

"Apparently it's right below his left one. But DON'T TELL."

I think we all know where this is going.

"Did you know that Greg Sanders has a third nipple?"

"AND a metal ball!"

"Man that sucks."

"Yeah, like how does he go through the metal detector at the airport?"

"At least with a third nipple you never have to worry about your baby being hungry."

"He's a boy."

"Oh. Right."

"Man that sucks."

"At least if someone kicks him in the balls, it would hurt them instead of him."

"Yeah, and if he ever gets really, really poor, he can just sell his metal ball. He'd still have the other one."

"It's not made of gold."

"I heard it was made of copper."

"Shhh...Greg's coming."

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Just the usual...Honest Abe."

"Ugh, not the metal ball thing again. I TOLD YOU MY BALLS ARE AS NORMAL AS THEY COME!"

"But what about your nipples, are they as normal as they come?"

"Okay, WHO told you that?!"

"So it's true?"

"NO! I do NOT have a third nipple!"

"Oh."

"It's a growth."

"What?"

"It's a growth that merely resembles a nipple. But technically, it's NOT a nipple."

"Can we see it?"

"Just for justification purposes."

"And I've never seen three nipples before. Well, I've seen three separate nipples, obviously, but not three together, in a trio."

"I'll only show you if you stop calling it a third nipple. It's a growth."

"Okay, OKAY...NOW SHOW US!"

"AAHHHHH!!!"

"There. You saw."

"Well Greg, by revealing yourself to us, you have proved us wrong about the third nipple. I mean...the growth. We won't gossip about it anymore."

"Good."

"Now about that metal ball..."