I realize how much time I have on my hands. Take yesterday, for example. I spent all day - and night - looking up random facts. Like really. I went to google and I typed in "random facts." Once I grew tired of this, I switched it up. "Weird facts." Once these got too weird, I tried "Fun Facts." One can learn a lot when they have no social agenda.
For instance, kangaroos have three vaginas. Maybe evolution thought the male kangaroo deserved a choice in holes - "I feel like a looser hole today for some reason" - or it decided that kangaroos are the perfect specimen for gang bangs, or evolution planned on giving the males three penises and then just fucked up - "I said give 'em three penises, not teach 'em to box!"
Another useful bit of information I learned was that until the early 1800s, the slang term for "balls" was twiddle-diddles. As in, "Wow! Look at the twiddle-diddle sack on that one!" Alright, people probably didn't use it quite in that context, but the meaning is the same.
Something else that caused me to grow intellectually was that Walt Disney's last written words were "Kurt Russell" and no one knows why. Not even Kurt Russell. I have no comment to follow this one; I think it speaks for itself.
After random facts became disturbing, like the fact that Adolf Hitler only had one testicle, I decided to go to google images.
No. Not to look up Hitler's Twiddle-Diddle.
To look up Oompa Loompas.
I came across one photo that led me on a quest for more. And here they are.
Nicholas Cage's Face on Other Things
(and I thought I was the one with too much time on my hands)
Yo Five-Head! E = what? It equals Nicholas Cage?
And I never thought the Mona Lisa could possibly get any uglier.
Nicholas Cage stars as Mr. Bigglesworth in Austin Powers 4: The Cat Who May or May Not Have a Nosebleed.
Nicholas Cage stars in Gone in Sixty Seconds 2: How Long it Took to Kill All the Native Americans.
There is nothing thrilling about this.
Oops! That's not Nicholas Cage. I almost had you fooled though, didn't I?
And for the grand finale: the most frightening thing on the Internet.