"Why would you say that? You don't even know her."
"Well it's just how she's standing. Look how she's got her arms crossed over her stomach and she's kind of slouching and not talking to anyone and looking around nervously. You don't think she looks insecure?"
"Oh, I don't judge people. It's wrong and people shouldn't be judged."
If you're one of these people who prance around spouting off this, excuse me, shit, then I suggest you take a stroll in the ghetto with money and crack in one of your hands and a small baby in the other at one in the morning and approach a couple of guys standing by a bench minding their own business and tell them you're from out of town and in need of a payphone. What? Oh, you wouldn't do that? Well why not they're just two guys wearing bubble jackets having a friendly conversation, that's all. Wait, what? Oh, you think it's dangerous? Oh, well why would you think that? Is it because you're judging? Is that what it is? Are you being a judger? Oh well I think you are a horrible person and you're going to Hell for that judgement you just made about the two nice men in the ghetto. That's right, Hell.
"Welcome to Limbo! Here is where we decide whether you belong in Heaven with God and Jesus and angels and all you can eat buffets or if you will be DAMNED TO HELL."
"Thank you. It's nice to be here."
"Now, let's take a look at your Life's Resume, shall we? Let's see...you did community service for 8 years, good, good. You also donated 2 million dollars to an orphanage, good, good. You were faithful to your husband the entire 65 years you were married, you respected thy neighbor, you never once mixed colors with darks when you did the wash, highly impressive. You were never gluttonous, never had too much pride, never greedy, never envious, never slothy, never wrath-like, and you never lusted. Very good. Well, looks like you get to meet The Man Up T---wait...hold on a second...oh, dear. It says here you saw a cute boy at a party your freshmen year of college and you immediately assumed he'd have sex with you. You judged."
"I'm so sorry! It was an accident, I didn't mean to!"
"Looks like you just bought yourself a one-way ticket TO HELL!"
Judging is merely a part of our animal instincts. Or our learned shallowness. One of the two, it doesn't really matter. You can't HELP but to judge, so judge it out! I can tell I'm judged every time I walk into a comic book store. It's just that look. That look of, "You don't belong here you're not even wearing glasses or pajama pants!" That look of, "I bet you don't even own ONE action figure." That look of, "You think you're so cool coming in to our Comic Book Sanctuary and judging us like you're better than us all!" That's right. You judge someone, guess what? They probably judged you before you even judged them, not to mention the person you judged a second ago who had judged the last person you judged who beat you to the judging, not that they didn't beat that other guy who judged them because they admitted to having their mom on speed dial. ("He must be queer.") Or the girl with no shirt on. ("She must be a slut.") Or the guy with the empty handle of vodka in his hand. ("He must be drunk.") I mean come ON! What's the difference between a judgement and an inference? We don't just hear a name and think, "Oh, your friend's name is Sarah? She must be a pothead." Unless you hear a name like, "Susie Hope Ann Lou" where I think it's perfectly acceptable to assume that she likes her chicken fried and crispy. Which yes, would be judging.
I call judging simply a matter of being aware of your surroundings, and to know whether or not that guy is cocky enough to avoid you all night but stare at you the entire time you're talking to someone else. It's okay. Don't feel bad. If you like to sleep with a teddy bear at night, I will make the judgement that you didn't get enough love as a child. And if you read my blog and hate it, I will make the judgement that you're a retarded moron who has no friends and no life. I judge. You judge. We all judge.