Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Lost and Found - Hours Later

I realize I've been writing a lot about drinking lately, but I'm 22 years old, and this is The Drinking Age. Unlike most, I rarely drank in high school, so I have a lot of lost years to make up for. With that being said...

I woke up this morning to find that I had lost all of my possessions. 

Missing Items

Bowling shoes
Normal shoes
Cigarette Pack #1
Cigarette Pack #2
Box of Mike and Ikes
Cell Phone
Debit Card

Luckily, I had not lost a blanket, which served me well as I wrapped it around myself and went searching around my friends' apartment for my things. This occurred after one roommate walked upstairs and exclaimed, "How did you get in here?! When did you get in here?!"

I was not the only one who blacked out the night before. They say to always have a DD, but the main reason I need a sober person around when I drink is to be my memory for the night.

"Sober Person! I'm about to do something - remember it for me, please."

"Sober Person! I'm throwing my stuff everywhere - remember where it all is, please."

"Sober Person! I'm about to reveal my deepest secret - please do not remember it."

I stood up to descend to the first floor when I heard, "NATASHA! YOUR SHIRT IS DOWN HERE!"

"What! Why?! Are my overalls with it?"



"I don't know! I accidentally blacked out last night!"

"Well I accidentally blacked out last night!"

"I lost my glasses."

"I lost....everything."

I eventually found the back of my phone, in the middle of the living room on the floor, which wasn't that much of a relief since what I really wanted was TO NOT BE RANDOMLY NAKED AT MY FRIENDS' PLACE. 

"Natasha! I found your overalls!"

"What! Where?!"

"In the bathroom upstairs!"

"In the bathroom? ...Upstairs?"

This is a problem. I envision myself wasted, running from room to room, flailing around articles of clothing.

"I'll take off my shirt in here, and then my pants in here, and ooh! I completely forgot about the kitchen! I'll take off my shoes in there..."

And then, once I'm completely unclothed, I run to my backpack and start emptying its contents.

"Cell phone can go in the living room! Wait no - let me take it apart first - there. Okay, back of the cell phone can go in the living room, the rest of the cell phone can go in the bathroom! Then, I'll toss my license in there! Then, I'll throw my keys in someone's bedroom! Then..."

The list goes on. Like I said before, this is a problem. And it isn't the only one. 

But that's a different story.

Once I was clothed and had located seven of the eleven things lost, I left for class. This is when I started getting texts from an array of people.

Your Mike and Ikes are scattered all over the back of Dude's car.

Your debit card is in my wallet.

Your bowling shoes are in my backseat.

Your cigarettes are in my front seat.

Why did you miss your dentist appointment this morning.

I know we went a little hard for a Tuesday night, but it was my friend's birthday, which caused for celebration. At least I think we celebrated.

I really don't remember.

No comments: