This Week's Conversations
Subway Cashier: I love yo black hurr!
Me: Thank you!
Cashier: You look like Da Bride of Chucky!
Me: Uh...I think she had blonde hair...
Cashier: Nah, she had jet black hurr and fake lashes like you!
Me: I don't have fake eyelashes.
Cashier: Really?! Then you IS her! You IS Da Bride of Chucky!
...it's not everyday you get told you look like a demon-possessed plastic baby.
Neighbor: (shouting from his balcony) HELLO!
Neighbor: I like your outfit!
Me: Thanks! I picked it out myself!
...good job, Natasha. Next time, be sure and let him know that not only do you dress yourself, but that you are ALSO potty-trained.
Friend: I wish there was penis fabric. To make penis burkas.
Me: I'm quoting you on Facebook later.
Other friend: I saw you quoted Laura on Facebook.
Me: Sure did!
Other friend: Yeah...but why did you hash tag Thomas Edison?
Me: I don't know. It was late.
...but really it was because I was drunk. And drunk-me thought it was hilarious to associate the inventor of the light bulb with the inventor of the penis-burka.