Without even reading the book, I know that Covey's list includes 7 habits. (Impressive, huh? The good ol' Title-Reading trick! - Works every time.) Well actually, there are 8, because he snuck an unnumbered one in at the end. That's right, Seany-Boy, we're onto you. Thought if you just didn't number it, we wouldn't notice, did ya? Thought young adults couldn't count that high, did ya? Well you ain't foolin' NOBODY. Got some prejudice toward 8, do ya? Got some weird fetish for the number 7, do ya? Got ----
...okay. I'm going to stop bullying the retired author now. I'll also stop speaking like someone who'd own a tommy gun.
My question is: why write a book for teenagers? They don't count. How about we write a useful manual for the highest class of our progressing society? No no, not the racial stereotype that just popped into your mind. I'm talkin...college students. Yeah, I'm really onto something here, just like that time I came up with socks for the head. (If "hats" hadn't been invented centuries ago, I would have really made bank with my Hocks.)
Below, I have listed each of Covey's habits of effective teens, followed by my own rendition of the habits of
defective EFFECTIVE college students.
Habit 1 - Be Proactive
I Am the Force
The Snooze Button is the Force
Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind
Control Your Own Destiny or Someone Else Will
Begin with a Laundromat in Mind
Wash Your Own Clothes or No One Else Will
Habit 3 - Put First Things First
Will and Won't Power
Put First Things Last
Will and Will Do Eventually Power
Habit 4 - Think Win-Win
Life Is an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Life Is a Dollar-Menu-Luxury
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
You have two ears and one mouth...Hel-lo!
Seek First to Drink, Then to Be Understood By Absolutely No One
You have ten shots and one mouth...Hssssllllloooowhaaaa???
Habit 6 - Synergize
The "High" Way
The "High" Way
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
It's "Me Time"
Dull the Inhibitions
It's "Do Me Time"
Keep hope alive!
Kid, You'll Move Mountains
Keep yourself alive!
Kid, a Metaphorical Mountain Isn't Gonna Help You Anymore