Thursday, December 6, 2007

Vajayjays and Penaynays

"Hi boys..."



"They're like, 12 years old!"


"So ewww!"

"It's not like I'm asking them out on a date or anything, I'm just simply saying hello."

"And winking."

"They didn't see that."

"And blowing kisses."

"They might have seen that."

"Their mother sure did."

"Oh that's awkward. Is she looking?"




"She's not nearly as attractive as her son."

"Oh, you mean the TWELVE year-old?"

"No, the younger one."

It is because of countless wise old men that we now know to eat an apple a day (it keeps the doctor away), what to do when you see a penny (pick it up), and the color of silence (gold). But do these things really help us in life? Does anyone actually eat an apple a day? Of course not, and if you do, you're weird. What people DON'T know is that it's the wise old women who have spoken the wisdom that really comes in handy. For instance: As a wise old woman once said, "A girl will one day be a woman, but boys never stop making fart jokes." SERIOUSLY.
The only difference between a middle school boy and a high school boy is that one can't wait to kiss you, and the other can't wait to do you. I thought high school would open up the world of dating...of romance...of the stuff you see in movies...the whole enchilada. So far the only enchilada I've gotten is the soggy one in the lunch line that costs a dollar-seventy-five. Boys are STILL awkward, and STILL clueless about just how to hnadle the female species. You still have that boy who thinks throwing wads of paper at you will REALLY make you swoon, and the boy who thinks a love ballad is saying, "I'd tap dat ass." And boys, just because we're not looking at you doesn't mean we haven't noticed you staring for the past HOUR, and going on and on about how horny you are does NOT make us realize how much you make our heart flutter. And only us girls can get away with using the terms, "vajayjay" and "penaynay." COME ON.
But don't get me wrong. I've dated high school boys, I've had 17-year-old boyfriends, and dad gummit, I'd do it again! Because what you don't know is, girls can be immature perverts, too, we just choose not to flaunt it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see your vajayjay! ;) Reply at if you dar ;););) vajay jaaaay! Maybe we can trade teh pix.