Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Party Like It's 2009

Well, I did it. I wore that awkward square they call a hat and walked across a stage to my name being mispronounced one last time just to finally say to the world of high school, "FUCK YOU!" Cause I'm done, baby. That's right. DONE. No more accidentally bumping into "people" in the hallways to be screamed at. (WATCH WHERE YOU GOIN BITCH!) No more sitting in the library only to be confronted by drug dealers. (Got any money? Cause I got the acid.) No more having to call my parents to leave school early. (I'm sick. Cough. Can I call my dad?) No more being told what to wear. (Your skirt is way too short young lady half of your dairy aire is hangin out and in my day we didn't even have dairy aires blah blah blah I'm unhappy with my life cause I'm a fat bitch.) The question is, will I miss it? It's hard to say; I've had good times, which more than often went hand in hand with bad times.

Good time: Following a boy who my friend liked to his house wearing hats and sunglasses to disguise ourselves as we spied on him.
Bad Time: The boy coming out of his house saying, "Natasha? Is that you?" and me speeding off, which only made the wind knock off my hat which lead to him saying, "Natasha. I KNOW that's you." and me driving away even faster.

Good time: Going to Steeplechase for the first time with my best friend to see what it was like.
Bad Time: Being picked up by a worker there in a golf cart to take us back to our car. Him driving into the woods saying, "Shit man I'm lost as fuck!" then opening a beer and chugging it as he drove us through the woods searching for a clearing to lead us back on ground where we could actually see other human life, while three wasted frat boys were standing on the cart yelling to the deer how pretty me and my friend were. I thought we were going to get raped.

Good Time: Blasting amazing music to jam out to in the car with my friends.
Bad Time: Dancing to the music being blasted, preventing me from seeing the column that hit my car.

And those are just the ones at the top of my head. There have been so many memories, so many beautiful times that I will never forget until the day I YEAH RIGHT. Good god, man, seriously? This isn't one of those lame Valedictorian speeches where you look to the person to your right and they're asleep, because honestly? You asked the smartest kid in school to make a speech? That's asking the most antisocial kid to entertain an audience of hundreds of people for a good fifteen minutes. There's a reason smart kids don't have friends, people. They just drone on and on and on about the work we put forth when while they were putting forth that work, everyone else was drinkin it up and gettin it on. You want an entertaining speech? Go ask the chick who had those parties every Saturday night, now SHE'LL have some funny stories. Go ask the dude who has a wallet full of V-Cards, now HE'LL have some helpful tips you may want to take with you to college. Not the kid who reads, takes tests, and buys fuzzy sweaters. I mean, seriously? If you want a good speech, go ask the girl who blogs. Now SHE'LL give the audience something to laugh about.

Now of course I'll miss these times, of course it' kind of sad that I'll never see Stan and his boil, or get mooned by girls in the bathroom, or step on a mutated cockroach as it falls from my locker. But I'm ready for change. I've gone to the same high school for 4 years, and don't get me wrong, I've absolutely loved it, to finally reach the night where I prance around in a white dress (our gowns were see-through. it's completely scandalous.) and get my picture taken and hug people I don't even care about and talk to teachers I'll never see again, (one of who gave me his card in case I ever want to "talk"), and then party like it's 1999. But it's 2009, baby, and this party is just gettin started.


Carol Saha said...

Congratulations!! Have fun in college. Was that too lame? It's okay. I'm almost 50. I'm supposed to be lame.

Natasha said...

No no no, absolutely nothing can be lame in regards to me going to college. Cause I WILL HAVE FUN, Carol Saha, thank you!

AnnaMia said...

My graduation Valedictorian speech was amazing this year. He was one of those hangs out with the cool kids, really funny but super smart kind of people. Since he couldn't think of anything to say, he sang a song. He bagan by saying "WEll I couldn't think of anything to say, so here's a little song" and he sang and played electric guitar, with the principal on drums and class clown on bass/backup vocals to an amalgamation of Stairway to Heaven and various 80s songs with random inspirational quotes and pieces of "advice". I can't believe he got it approved, but man. Best. Speech. Ever.

AnnaMia said...

Here's the link to the video. The singing doesn't really start til about 2 minutes in though. Pretty funny..