Conversation I Had At Walgreens
cashier: It's so hot outside!
me: I KNOW. IT SUCKS.
cashier: You have on a wool sweater...
me: I KNOW. IT SUCKS.
Conversation I Had At Work
boss: You were late again.
me: Yes. By three minutes.
boss: I'm sending you home.
me: Sorry.
boss: And your...wool...sweater?...is too baggy.
Conversation I Had At Home
me: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS DAY.
cat: Meow.
me: EVERYONE HATES ME.
cat: Meow, meow.
me: It's not like I chose the wool sweater. I COULDN'T FIND MY BRA. It was the only thing baggy enough to disguise the freedom. Plus, I woke up wearing it this morning...for some unknown reason.
cat: Meow.
me: IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY, LEELOO.
cat: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow ---
me: Okay, enough. I'm getting annoyed.
cat: Meow, meow, meow ---
me: I SAID ENOUGH, LEELOO.
cat: Meow, meow, meow, meow ---
me: OUCH!
cat: Meow.
me: STOP TRYING TO EAT ME. I AM NOT A SNACK FOOD.
cat: Meow, meow, meow ---
me: SPEAK ENGLISH. YOU'RE BEING A JERK.
cat: Meow, meow ---
me: We have some serious communication problems.
"Natasha Ferrier is absolutely HILARIOUS." - Natasha Ferrier, self-quoter
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