Thursday, February 14, 2013

Dickless Cage

If you haven't been keeping up for the past couple of months, I blogged about my amazing discovery of Nicholas Cage's face on other things, which you can see here. (Click on it, fool.) Since then, it has become my mission, my calling, to find as many Nick Cage hybrids as I can. I am thankful for the people who take their time to create these photos, but no, I don't want to ever have dinner with them in the basement of their mother's house.

Nicholas Cage is E.T. In this Spielberg sequel, he phones home, eats Reese's Pieces, and eventually drinks himself to death in Las Vegas.

Nicholas Cage is a hobbit. In Peter Jackson's unexpected fourth installment of Lord of the Rings, Bugeye Baggins (Cage) is part of a futuristic halfling species that has evolved to become taller, more easily surprised, and more prone to bee attacks.

Nicholas Cage is Antoine Cage, the Victim's Brother. The victim is suffering from being related to Cage.

Nicholas Cage is a gnome. He is known to be found searching for national treasure in people's lawns based on clues that no one could ever possibly decipher in real life. Unless you're Nick Cage.

Nicholas Cage is Yoda. In George Lucas's seventh Star Wars film, it becomes even more evident that both Lucas and Cage should have stopped making movies years ago. 

I would have gone with "Dickless Cage," but this works, too.

Nicholas Cage is someone's chest. I hope to be so famous one day that when I google my name, I find my face embedded in someone's torso. However, if this were a full-body shot, it'd probably look like Nick Cage had a penis for a goatee. Which he could probably get away with. Because he's Nicholas Fucking Cage.

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