I turned around to face one of my co-workers, who was giggling way too much at my communication device.
"I haven't seen one of these in FOREVER!"
She continued to laugh. I continued to stare. My phone continued to flip. This was one of those times when you could yell out, "Wal-Mart" and everything would be explained.
So that's exactly what I did.
And it worked, because she snickered away to go make fun of someone else's poverty.
"Is that a cardboard box? I haven't seen someone sleep in one of those in FOREVER!"
"Are those food stamps? I haven't seen someone use those in FOREVER!"
"Is that a brain? I haven't used one of those in FOREVER!"
While I always defend my At&t Samsung Socializer (more commonly known as A.S.S.), I do have one complaint.
Why My A.S.S. Sucks
I have no sent folder.
THIS - is a serious problem. I tend to write long, elaborate texts, and I had grown into the habit of going back and rereading what I just sent as soon as I sent it. One, to remember what tangent I just went on and two, because I'm cocky and amused by my own writing.
"Oh, Natasha! You are just hilarious!"
I don't really think like this. Okay, I kind of do. But at least I admit it. If the human race died out and I was the last person on the planet, at least I could text myself.
This is a small complaint compared to the other dilemma regarding my lack of a sent folder. Any twenty-something should already know where I'm going with this.
Let me say that I rarely bring my phone with me when I've been drinking. I'm already WITH the people I want to be with, so what's the point of talking to anyone else? Unless I drink alone, which I never do anymore because of THAT ONE TIME when I thought I was typing someone's name into the SEARCH BAR and instead made it my STATUS UPDATE. For example:
How are you feeling, Natasha?
Let's not mention that this person was a boy I had feelings for five years ago. Shit, I just mentioned it. At least the experience stopped me from drinking alone and also led me to come up with THIS INGENIOUS IDEA.
I'm feeling a little awkward now. Let's continue.
I need a sent folder for the moments I black out and text people. Who did I text? What did I text? Did it make sense? After six months of growing used to never knowing the answers to these questions, I discovered something yesterday.
I have a sent folder.
I scanned through about four texts before clicking "delete all" and then trying to delete the sent folder altogether. You would do the same thing if this is what you saw:
- Hey what is the Japanese phrase that means vomit?
- Baby hanging station
- College visits for their Indian kids - you have fifteen years to think it over
If I can't even handle a sent folder, then I sure as hell can't handle a fancy phone (I believe they're called "smart phones" but I've been calling them "fancy phones" for so long now that I can't conform. Also, that technically deems my phone a "dumb phone," which is just rude to the flip phone community). Can you imagine if I added things like pictures to my words? BABY HANGING STATION? No, I can't handle it. I shall remain faithful to Flipper forever. And never check my sent folder again.